Monday, August 19, 2013

Polar Opposites


My children are night and day. One would think I would have come to this realization months ago, but the fact is, the truth comes in waves of tiny epiphanies.

For example, let's compare a typical Manhattan stroll while visiting my parents in the city.
Age of Comparison: 16 months
Time of Epiphany: Two Saturdays ago at 3:30 pm

While our daughter was once happy to be strolled along Madison Avenue, taking in the store fronts and  terribly chic pedestrians passing on the street, her baby brother refused to have anything to do with his four wheels of luxury and proceeded to tear down the avenue at breakneck speed. The more grates (the bane of his sister's manhattan existence) the better. It was all I could do to get him to hold my hand!

Ah ha! There is was ... the Thousandth epiphany.

My children are not of the same mold.
My children are not of the same mold.
My children are not of the same mold.

Saying the above three times fast is not a difficult feat. What is, however, is the acceptance of that phrase and afterwards, adapting to each child's difference. I often wonder if acceptance and flexibility are harder for me because we have almost four years between our children. Would it have been easier if I have had them closer together?

My gut tells me: Hell NO! Girl, you would have had double the diapers, triple the amount of sippies and Boon spoons and quadruple the amount of "Mama" screams in a single day. - I still wonder though - which is a complete waste of time. As Mr. Darling often points out, there's no going back now!

True Darling, but try rationalizing with my old friend, Mommy Guilt. Let me know how well that one sits. She weighs on my shoulder, telling me, "You had so much more patience the last time around Dearie" and "Well Darling, if you spent as much time with your second as you did with your first then 'X' wouldn't be happening".

My rational mind says that this is ridiculous. My heart agrees with Mommy Guilt.

I wish I had advice to give on this subject, but in all honesty, I'm still trying to work this little ditty out. From what I'm discovering, the mommy guilt never manages to go away completely, and despite the trials that the differences can bring, they are far outweighed by the moments that my Little Darlings laugh, the sound is exactly the same ... pure magic, or when my son squeals with delight upon seeing his sister come down the stairs in the morning ... heart melted, or even when I see them both in the reflection of my rear view mirror - they are asleep and their expressions are identical ... weight lifted.

While I yearn for the day of complete mastery over parenting two totally different children, I am thankful for the moments that I can see and accept their differences and revel in the moments that they share.

With love,
Mrs. Darling

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