Weekly PD: Tot-tails - A Little Darling's Libation

The Fizzy Izzy (cantaloupe or honeydew alternative) in my Grandmother's Vintage Port Glasses

Good Lord, it has been a week!!  Through out these past five days, I have found a new sense of appreciation for the end of the day. Not only does it bring the dawn of another, it also brings cocktail hour. Most of the time this involves the enjoyment of a true cocktail or sometimes, a cheery sparkling water infused with orange and rosemary, or a floral tea.  Cocktail hour in the Darling home typically begins when the children are asleep, however, this week we found that there was another person in need of a special treat at the end of the day.  This week's Pixie Dust came in the form of a Little Darling libation.

The littlest darling is currently a limit pushing enthusiast. Let me illustrate his newly appointed title: He takes the "one more step" ...   he presses every button..."If he screams one more time, I'll lose it" ...  and he gets his tiny little hands on everything he ought not ..."Darling!! Don't touch that!!"

I know that this is completely normal for his age (according to our pediatrician and experience) but for heaven's sake, the boy won't quit! There is a reason babies are so darn cute... it's so their parents won't bring them back to Costco, as our daughter frequently points out, to her, he came from Costco.

BRING ON THE COCKTAILS!!!

I do believe that these are the years that we need to cherish. I'm experiencing for myself that they pass in the blink of an eye, but at the end of the day, when Mommy is raw with frustration, she just needs a sweet kiss from the good old fruit of the vine. (From you too, Darling!) -- I began to think of my daughter... what must she be feeling amidst the chaos that is rocking her former only-child world? -- And I thought....she needs a ritual... a treat that only she is allowed to enjoy... in peace.

Our darling daughter has been very patient with her brother, while he relentlessly pinched her face and pulled her hair (which is an absolute No-No ...  something we are trying very hard to convey). This past Tuesday evening, I was remembering the days when I was allowed to have a Shirley Temple. I was dressed, pressed, and alight with the feeling that I was a cut above babies ... a big girl ... one with my grown up parental units. I knew that this was a feeling that our daughter would eat up.  I had the idea of pureeing a very ripe cantaloupe and honeydew in order to make her a healthier version of my beloved Shirley Temple - something she could enjoy after dinner when her brother went to bed.

We didn't want to promote alcohol consumption to our five year old so we refrained from beginning our adult cocktail hour and using our playful term, "Tot-Tails".  I named the kiddie libation "The Fizzy Izzy" and we each enjoyed a tiny glass of the sweet refreshment for dessert.  It was a huge hit. Our daughter clasped her hands with joy as she saw the "fancy" glasses coming toward her on a tray -- and as our darling smacked her lips in delight she said, "Mmm... We should make this for Bruder when he learns to use gentle hands." I'll take her advice on that one!  

With love,

Mrs. Darling

THE FIZZY IZZY

1very ripe Cantaloupe or Honeydew

1 lime, juiced

1/4 cup sparkling water or club soda

*Cut Cantaloupe or Honeydew into chunks

*Put in food processor or blender and puree until smooth

*Pour into a very fine strainer- a Chinois is perfect if you have it - over a pitcher or bowl

*Skim any froth or impurities that rise to the surface

*Add lime juice a tablespoon at a time and stir, tasting each time for desired proportions.

*Add sparkling water or club soda

*Chill before serving

Taste Test

Mrs Darling Gets Dressed: Running In Heels

It was time for a statement shoe -- well -- there was a strong desire for a statement shoe. According to Mr. Darling, it's never really time to purchase shoes of any kind until what you have is completely falling apart... and maybe not even then. I fully respect his practicality, however, practicality often takes a back seat to passion when it comes to a shoe lover's vision.

My mother and I were having a girls afternoon out with the Little Darling's in tow and our favorite department store was having a sale. We ran straight for the shoe department. As we admired the latest footwear and combed through the sale racks, we found a few, very well priced must haves. Then -- sitting right in front of me, as if pulsating with divine light, there they were, the perfect statement shoe for a care free summer night. They were bright, bold, completely outside my stylistic comfort zone, and had heels like skyscrapers. They were the creation of the fabulous Brian Atwood and they were exactly what I had been wanting. I scooped them up and quickly asked the sales associate for the mate. As I slipped them on and buckled the ankle strap,  a series of outfits flashed before my eyes and I immediately knew that these tootsies had found their wild weekend getaway from reality. (Something every Mommy needs from time to time).

In the meantime, despite the fact that they were never left alone, this is what had been happening: Our darling daughter had made a stiletto pile of her own to try on and as I persuaded her to look with her eyes and not with her hands, her baby brother decided that the new collection of Valentino studded footwear needed a few Cheerios in each shoe (Ah, the joys of shopping with children). My mother lovingly took charge while I had been trying on the objects of my desire. I walked up to her, shoes adorning feet and she admired the radical-chic look: They look great - I love them ... but they're so high! You have two children. When are you ever going to wear them? How are you going to walk in them?

As I explained to her that these shoes would be reserved for date and girls nights out only, the littlest darling took off running. He ran through the shoe department and into Contemporary Wear.  My immediate reaction was to run after him, Brian Atwood shoes and all. While my mother and daughter held down the fort of shoes, I chased and caught him before he could scramble behind the legs of a mannequin who, even in her state of blissfully unaware plaster, would no doubt mind being reduced to Humpty Dumpty.

 I scooped him up and walked back over to my mom, the darling banshee sitting restlessly on my hip and my statement shoes clicking proudly on the ground.  When I reached her, my mother's smile matched my own. "Well, I guess that answers that," she said. "I suppose they are comfortable". Very - was my response. It was then that we both broke out in laughter. My inner fashionista was giddy.

This Mrs. may have had two children, she may not always manage to look chipper and fresh but give her a pair of six inch heels and see her run like she's never missed a day in stilettos.

With love,
Mrs. Darling

Polar Opposites

My children are night and day. One would think I would have come to this realization months ago, but the fact is, the truth comes in waves of tiny epiphanies.

For example, let's compare a typical Manhattan stroll while visiting my parents in the city.
Age of Comparison: 16 months
Time of Epiphany: Two Saturdays ago at 3:30 pm

While our daughter was once happy to be strolled along Madison Avenue, taking in the store fronts and  terribly chic pedestrians passing on the street, her baby brother refused to have anything to do with his four wheels of luxury and proceeded to tear down the avenue at breakneck speed. The more grates (the bane of his sister's manhattan existence) the better. It was all I could do to get him to hold my hand!

Ah ha! There is was ... the Thousandth epiphany.

My children are not of the same mold.
My children are not of the same mold.
My children are not of the same mold.

Saying the above three times fast is not a difficult feat. What is, however, is the acceptance of that phrase and afterwards, adapting to each child's difference. I often wonder if acceptance and flexibility are harder for me because we have almost four years between our children. Would it have been easier if I have had them closer together?

My gut tells me: Hell NO! Girl, you would have had double the diapers, triple the amount of sippies and Boon spoons and quadruple the amount of "Mama" screams in a single day. - I still wonder though - which is a complete waste of time. As Mr. Darling often points out, there's no going back now!

True Darling, but try rationalizing with my old friend, Mommy Guilt. Let me know how well that one sits. She weighs on my shoulder, telling me, "You had so much more patience the last time around Dearie" and "Well Darling, if you spent as much time with your second as you did with your first then 'X' wouldn't be happening".

My rational mind says that this is ridiculous. My heart agrees with Mommy Guilt.

I wish I had advice to give on this subject, but in all honesty, I'm still trying to work this little ditty out. From what I'm discovering, the mommy guilt never manages to go away completely, and despite the trials that the differences can bring, they are far outweighed by the moments that my Little Darlings laugh, the sound is exactly the same ... pure magic, or when my son squeals with delight upon seeing his sister come down the stairs in the morning ... heart melted, or even when I see them both in the reflection of my rear view mirror - they are asleep and their expressions are identical ... weight lifted.

While I yearn for the day of complete mastery over parenting two totally different children, I am thankful for the moments that I can see and accept their differences and revel in the moments that they share.

With love,
Mrs. Darling

Weekly Pixie Dust

After an emotional week, I was finally able to sit down this morning and come to grips with everything. What started out as a typical week in the Darling home, ended up turning into a week of loss, pain, and questions.  Our puppy Gretta Bel passed away unexpectedly as a result of a tragic accident. She felt no pain as she died instantly.

It is never easy to say farewell to such a faithful companion, as a dog is to a family, but what was most difficult was helping our five year old daughter to understand it all. Despite her surprising composure, she naturally had a lot of trouble processing the loss of her dear puppy dog.

Our little family of four has been blessed time and time and again with the love and support of not only our family but also our friends as well. This week, we have received so much love from so many that our hearts, despite the breaking that comes with grief, are filled to the brim. The children's books, phone calls and cards have helped our family, especially our daughter, to heal.

The love of our family and friends has been more than enough to carry us through this week, but our specific Pixie Dust comes in the form of two children's books that have helped our daughter during bedtime, when she misses our Gretta the most. They are entitled, "I'll Always Love You" by Hans Wilhelm and "Dog Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant.

Mr. Darling and I highly recommend them to anyone with children who has lost a beloved pet. We are looking forward to a restful weekend, the beginning of a new week, a new adventure and a new outlook on life - remembering the importance of loving with each breath and all of your heart.

With love,
Mrs. Darling

Gretta Bel Darling

 Gretta Bel On Our Most Recent Camping Trip

The Darling Family is sad to report that our sweet dog Gretta Bel passed away yesterday evening. We are completely devastated. She was Mr. Darling's and my very first baby - the first leaf of our family tree.

I can still remember the day we brought her home just a couple of weeks after our wedding.

I remember how she used to perch on the edge of the sofa, standing watch over our daughter when she was just a newborn as she rocked in her baby swing.

Gretta and her sister Sailor were peas in a pod. Mr. Darling and I always called them bookends because they often slept in mirror images of each other. She and Sailor got me through three deployments, countless training trips and late nights while Mr. Darling was studying. She loved to snuggle up in blankets and her favorite lovey was her pink stuffed bunny - a gift from her Nana. She gave love and joy every day of her life.

I will miss the dual tinkling of collars as our pups ran together ... and it's still unthinkable that I will never call out: "Girls! Come here Girlies!" again.

We bundled her up in a soft pink blanket and gently carried her to her resting place. Our daughter drew her a picture of our family so that she would always have us with her. - I was completely astounded by the depth of our five year old's understanding of what was going on, not to mention her composure and the tenderness of her thoughts and questions. - As we placed a piece of slate over her grave, she asked, "But how will Gretta be able to come out when she's not dead anymore?" To which I responded by sitting her down and explaining that our Gretta girl would not be coming out. - That when someone is dead, their body rests at peace and does not move again. She accepted this with a few more tears and then asked if she could come and visit her as often as she would like. Yes, of course, was both Mr. Darling's and my immediate response.

Sailor sat by Gretta the whole time. Mr. Darling insisted that we allow her to say goodbye. He felt that it was important for Sailor to be with her so that she wouldn't be confused as to where Gretta had gone. I deeply admire and appreciate his presence of mind at that moment because I truly believe it helped her. She absolutely knew that her sister was no longer by her side.

As I kissed my girl goodbye one last time, my heart ached for every cross reprimand, though I know she lived a happy puppy life right up until the moment she died.

We loved her from the second we laid eyes on her and we will love her still, though she has now been laid to rest.

Our hearts are broken for the sudden loss of our beautiful girl, but as we told our Darling Daughter, she is in Heaven - eating white American Cheese (her favorite treat), running through grassy fields (her favorite activity) and taking forever to go potty (typical Gretta Bel).

Sleep in peace sweet puppy of ours. You will live in our hearts forever and always.

With love,
Mommy, Daddy, Sissy, Brubby and Sailor

The Pacifier "Situation"

The Paci Hub 

Why is it that everyone seems to have an opinion on "The Pacifier Situation"? My youngest Darling is a paci man. My immediate reaction to his affinity for the paci (or plug as his darling sister once called it) was: Oh! Thank God!

Both of my children were avid nursers and milk-aholics. This is any nursing mother's dream, however, my son took it to a whole new level. He nursed every fifteen minutes from the end of his last feeding and each feeding was no less than thirty minutes long. I never had to explain his initial nickname: The Tick.When my daughter was born I refused to introduce her to a pacifier. I was against her becoming dependent on something other than nursing to soothe her. That anti-paci stance lasted only a matter of hours. Birth, nursing and welcoming a baby is exciting and wonderful but it is also exhausting! As much as you want to bond with your baby, there are times when a mommy just needs a moment or twenty to herself. Our daughter would have nothing to do with a pacifier but then became enamored with her thumb and when our son was born I didn't have any hesitations. After we got a consistently good latch while nursing, he and his pacifier were given an immediate introduction. This was the start of a love affair that has been going on for the past sixteen months. Through out that time, many people have had an open opinion about it. It sounds something like this: Why do you allow him to have it whenever he wants it? You know, if you allow this to continue, the next thing he'll have in there is a cigarette. You are setting yourself up for disaster. You are making a mistake.

I am not persuaded by ridicule or any one's - no matter how well meant - opinion on the subject. My son is not a self soother and I am behind anything (within reason) that provides him that comfort. I feel, that as long as my pediatrician and our family dentist are on board, I'm good to go (which they are). My advice to Mommies of a similar mindset: Listen to your instincts and do what YOU feel is best for your child. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.

If my son needs braces, in my mind, so be it ... I had them too.  If he clings to the paci until we need to create a method of withdrawal, fine! If he is comforted by it until the age of three, no problem. The ONLY issue I have with the blasted thing is that he calls it, "Mama" ... but that's a whole other post. For now, I'm at peace with not only my decision to allow my son to have his paci on demand, but also the silence of a soothed baby.

With love,
Mrs. Darling

Waiting For Baby

Our first Little Darling moments after her birth

The confirmation of the Duchess of Cambridge's admission to the hospital has been made and the official royal baby watch has commenced. While the world waits with bated breath, I fondly remember each day that I was told: Today Is The Day!

Five years ago Mr. Darling came home from deployment, we celebrated our first anniversary and the very next day we had our last doctor's appointment before my due date. Call it intuition - we decided to throw my packed overnighter into the trunk. What came next was almost as big of a surprise as the pregnancy ... almost. Our doctor announced, "You're four centimeters dilated and eighty percent effaced! Are you ready to have a baby today?" Eight hours later we welcomed our first child - a daughter. We marveled over each tiny finger and toe, her soft skin, her head full of dark hair. We just couldn't believe that after nine months we were finally able to hold our seven pound, fourteen ounces of perfect joy in our arms. From the moment she was placed on my chest, life was instantly changed.

Four years later, at thirty eight weeks pregnant, I miserably waddled to my doctor's office. I had been given strict instructions by Mr. Darling, who was in his first year of medical school, to call him as soon as I got out. We had been praying that this baby would come two weeks early like his sister. Fortunately for us, and my personal sanity, we weren't disappointed. I remember looking up at the ceiling thinking to myself, "Please God, let this baby be ready to come out. I just. can't. take. it. anymore." When I heard my doctor say, "Welp, I think you should go home, get your bag and I'll meet you in labor and delivery at 5 tonight," I was flooded with relief, and excitement. I immediately called Mr. Darling and I could hear the biggest smile spread across his face.

On the way home I contacted grandparents and our close family friends who offered to take our daughter if neither of our parents were in the city at the moment that I went into labor. After arriving home I made sure everything was in order and took a long hot shower. It was at that moment that I realized that our lives were completely changing once again, but this time I had an overwhelming sense of guilt.  Despite the fact that I loved and adored this baby from the moment I knew I was carrying him, for the first time I worried about my ability to love another baby as much as I loved our daughter. I held her as close as I could as I said goodbye before heading to the hospital and as Mr. Darling and I drove together, we silently held hands, each reflecting on the realization that we would meet our son in just a matter of hours.

No second was wasted taking in his preciousness after giving birth. He was just as much a marvel as his sister was and when they met for the first time, we knew that they were meant to be together and my heart knew that it would love two children in the very same way it did when there was only one.

It's exciting moments like these that make a life fulfilled. No matter who you are, or what your place is, it's the beautiful changes like bringing a baby into the world and one's family that make everything else seem so insignificant and small.

The Darling Family wishes everything wonderful to the Royal Family of Three-To-Be!

With love,
Mrs. Darling

Little Darlings: Products of The Moment

As a mother of two, I’ve just about seen and tried it all - from move and shake baby silencers to all natural lather and slathers. There has been no stone unturned. Pictured above are our products of the moment that have been tried and true in the Darling household. Enjoy!

Supergoop: The atopic skinned family’s god-sent. This sunscreen is not only gentle and effective but it is also free of oil, oxybenzone, paraben and fragrance. The Darling Children and I have been cursed with extremely sensitive skin. This is the only sunscreen that doesn’t send us running for hydrocortisone. One pump goes a long way and the cherry is that it is TSA approved for carry-on air travel. For those who are squeezing in the last bit of summer travel or those who are laying low in the ghastly summer heat, this product is an absolute must (unless your darling is under six months of age – If so, a hat and shade is the ultimate recommendation).

California Baby - Calming Bubble Bath: This is a beloved brand in the Darling Home by parents and children alike. This tear free, all natural, biodegradable and herbal bubble bath is the perfect end to any day. Its gentle, vegetable-derived bubbling properties ensure the integrity and softness of your darling’s skin while simultaneously affording them the essence of calm and serenity. At the end of the day, could you ask for more?

Cetaphil - Restoraderm Skin Restoring Moisture: For those of you who are long time lovers of Cetaphil, you will more than likely agree with the fabulousness of this moisturizing product. Recommended by dermatologists, this cream is extremely effective. I have personally seen tremendous results with my children’s eczema. While many pediatricians do not recommend moisturizers until after six months of age, Cetaphil Restoraderm is compatible with skin three months of age and/or older.

Paul Mitchell Kids - Taming Spray: This wonderful detangler can be used on either wet or dry hair, which is perfect for taming long and luscious locks as well as crazy cowlicks. It has also reduced the morning shrill decibel in the Darling home by half.

Mustela – Dermo Cleansing: Throughout five years and two children, this soap free cleansing gel has been our ultimate recommendation to parents everywhere. Not only is the gentle fragrance absolutely divine, it is hypoallergenic, tear free, and maintains the softness of your little darling’s skin and scalp. I love that even though our eldest is five, when I snuggle her at bedtime, I am taken back to her infancy night after night and hold her just a little bit closer and a little bit longer.

As every child is different, so too may be their reaction to these products.  I do hope that you will love them as much as we do. Stay posted for our next product feature!

With love,

Mrs. Darling 

Mrs. Darling: Wanted In The House Of Darling - House of Lavande

The above depictions of Mrs. Darlings desire are courtesy of House of Lavande

It is safe to say that vintage and vintage inspired jewelry is an absolute passion of mine. Those who know me personally can attest to this truth. Right after giving birth to each of my children, my precious baubles were put away. I was too afraid of getting a call from CPS about ghastly scratches on their delicate faces and bodies from my outrageous chandelier earrings, bold bangles or extravagant cocktail rings. Now that my youngest is walking, I'm beyond ready to break out the big bling for a little fun.

The well known House of Lavande has long been a source of inspiration for my love of statement pieces. Pictured above are my cravings of the moment. Be sure to check out their website. A little taste of razzle dazzle is sure to cure any case of the Mondays!

With love,
Mrs. Darling

Mrs. Darling: Packing For The Hospital

I can still remember the feeling of being – DONE – at the end of each of my third trimesters. I was ready to graciously ask my little tenants to pack up and get the show on the road. About a month before each of my respective due dates, I pulled out my overnighter and prepared for what would be my labor and delivery trousseau. Every Mother’s needs are different when it comes to preparing for the birth of her child and the subsequent recovery, but aside from the obvious essentials such as a car seat, camera, phone and all necessary chargers … I thought I would share a few of my personal recommendations that I was most thankful I packed. Here is a list of items one might want to consider while preparing for the waddle to check in and check out!

Disposable Toiletry Items i.e. Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Facial Cleanser and Facial Products, Body Cream and Deodorant: There is nothing more refreshing after hours of labor than your first shower and cleansing routine. While they provide many of these items at the hospital, I have found that your own creature comforts can aid in a certain sense of tranquility and normalcy in the 24 hour time period of a complete and utter life change! If your favorite products cannot be found in travel size, I discovered that many counters in departments stores or small boutiques are more than happy to supply you with sample sizes to get you through your 2 – 3 day recovery period in the hospital – Major shout out to my girls from Bergdorf Goodman who hooked me up with my favorite day and night time regimens in miniature!

      Hair Brush and Hair Ties/Clips: These items don’t need any explanation. In all honesty, after you are able to shower you will not have the time, let alone the energy to blow out your hair, but you’ll certainly want to run something through it and get it out of your face.

      2 or 3 Comfortable Short Night Gowns or Long Night Shirts In Black: After my first go-a-round, I realized that I was tremendously uncomfortable in the hospital gowns that were given to me. After I had time to rest following the birth of my second baby, I showered and changed into a black, short sleeve, V necked, jersey nightie by Cosabella.  I chose black for the obvious reason that you are bleeding for several days postpartum and I never had to worry about ruining a garment. V necked nighties allow for easy access when breastfeeding, jersey is such a comfortable and forgiving fabric that you cannot go wrong and lastly, I decided on a shorter length because it makes for much less fuss when the Doctors and Nurses are checking your healing process.

      2 or 3 Nursing Bras/Tank Tops: After the first day postpartum and especially after my milk came in I was in desperate need of support (In more ways than one). There is a plethora of nursing bras and brands to choose from and the process of selecting them is purely a matter of preference, comfort and circumstance.  I always favored Elle Macpherson’s line of Bras and Target’s Gilligan & O’Malley Sports Bra Styles and Tank Tops. I loved sleeping in a nursing tank top because I didn’t have to open or pull up a shirt when I was half asleep at 2 am.  

1 or 2 Nursing Covers: My covers were wonderful through out the months my children were nursing and they were also fabulously helpful when guests came to meet the baby during visiting hours. They allowed me to continue to nurse on demand while keeping me covered and simultaneously keeping our visitors as comfortable as possible.  I highly recommend Bebe Au Lait nursing covers, yet a few of my girlfriends have had great success with a simple swaddling blanket. Aden and Anais make a tremendous swaddle blanket that is made of muslin so it’s not only light and airy - it’s incredibly soft as well.

Homecoming Outfit For Baby: I loved shopping for this particular outfit for both of our Newborns. This is obviously a very personal choice; just don’t forget to pack it!

Homecoming Outfit For Mommy: My outfit of choice both times around was a pairing of black, wide banded leggings, a comfortable top and flats. This seems to be a fairly common selection. Do not forget to include a nursing bra and my major essential: Black, Full Bottomed Underwear. As I mentioned above, you will have several days of postpartum bleeding and will more than likely be wearing a very thick pad, thus, comfort is key! Packing a pair or two in your hospital bag is wise and stocking few pairs to have when you get home is brilliant.

This personal list is based on a straightforward labor and delivery. Those of us who have been there know that things can change in a heartbeat.  Just remember that at the end of the day, no matter what you pack, it will never be as important as what…or whom you take away.

With love,

Mrs. Darling